THE ANXIOUS FATHER SYNDROME
The phone rang and an unknown number flashed on my mobile screen. A male voice at the other end seemed too eager even for the perfunctory greetings.
“Hello Mam, my name is XX and I’m calling from Delhi. Mr. YY gave me your number. Next on the line will be my daughter ZZ, who would like to discuss a few things with you.”
Before I could process and place all the XX, YY and ZZ in my mind’s grid, a gentle yet skeptical voice interrupted my train of thoughts.
“Good morning Mam”
“Good morning dear. What would you like to discuss with me?”
“Frankly speaking mam, I seriously have no idea why am I talking to you! My father told me that you are an author and before I could say anything, he dialed your number and handed the phone to me.”
The honest confession touched my heart as I comprehended the young girl’s predicament. Quite often I witness a similar scenario at my home too.
My daughters, who are on the brink of taking a career plunge, are frequently coaxed into talking by my husband to numerous people including his batch mates placed at enviable positions, their children who have made it successfully to foreign universities; cousins and their children; friends’ friends and sometimes total strangers. My daughters are generally obliging but at times even they get flustered and frustrated in such circumstances. I call it the ‘Anxious Father Syndrome’. I do realize that this anxiety owes its genesis to the paternal instinct in him that wants to see the children soar high in the sky. However, I can also empathize with the dilemma of my children who are sometimes exposed to unwarranted ranting of presumptuous and I-know-it-all adults.
I couldn’t help but smile at the congruity of the situation.
“I totally understand your plight dear. So, in order to appease the angst of your overzealous father, let us have a casual tête-à-tête. Tell me what are you doing and what do you plan to do in future.”
“Mam, I am pursuing English Honours from Delhi University and also dabble in content writing as a freelancer.”
We talked about her interests and I gave her a few tips on how to accentuate her literary pursuits. She also confided in me about how her mother completely understands her situation and supports her in her endeavors though her father is always anxious and unconvinced of her pursuits. I tried to assure her that her father did not mean to underestimate her talent and that his apprehensions were his way of showing that he was deeply concerned about her career and life choices. Fifteen minutes later, we ended the conversation on a convivial note.
“Most of the adults that my father makes me talk to usually go on an endless tirade of advice, instructions and self-exemplification without giving me a chance to share my views. You are the only one who wanted to know about my interests and my opinions.”
Her parting words left me pondering over the fact how the self-assured so-called adults take it for granted that whatever they do or know is the best while youngsters are totally at sea when it comes to decision making either about their careers or their lives!!!