How strange it is to catch oneself spouting the same words to one’s kids that one hated one’s own mother repeat like a choral sound. There really is no theoretical study of motherhood. You just ‘play it by ear’. You instinctively know when to glare,scream, curse,gnash your teeth, hug,kiss to heal scratches, smile indulgently, thump and pat the back,shout aloud,”oye kutt khaani hai?”( Do you want to be smacked ?)It’s empowering and terrorizing at the exact moment. Babies can wrench out your whole heart with their toothless grins and their puppy-like devotion. The slavery of motherhood is willing bonded labor.You could hang around your seething and furious progeny with a piping hot ”aaloo da paraanthha”, forever and wait until it is gobbled up. It reminded me of a few lines that I wrote about this urge to nourish and nurture.
“What’s this compulsive streak
We, women, have about feeding?
What my children lovingly called
“Our mom’s feeding illness”!
Its when I see a person and say
“Hey, would you like some lassi ?”
Or “can I rustle up a sandwich for you ?”
Even,” You look starved! eat up eat up !”
I like to believe that it goes back
To my ancestor’s Stone Age days
When my great greater greatest grandmama hit two stones
And lit a fire.
She would cook
Whatever the gent in her life
brought home from his hunting escapades
There were no dieticians
And no concept of calories
And a tiny paunch was a sign of wealth and health!
Do forgive me then
When I insist that you should
have a steaming cup of milk
And some buttered toast thrown in for good measure!
Ignore my insinuations that you should not forget to eat
It’s a Punjabi thing you know
Overstuffing the others till they
Burst with their burps!
It’s how they say
“I love you”
Children are such wondrous creatures for their mothers. …”Kis chaman ka gul hai tu ,aur kis gagan ka taara?”
Motherhood is self-enlightening.You discover hidden reserves of energy and patience that you never imagined you could ever possess.When one is not mouthing cliches like those in Hindi films…”Main Teri maa hoon Kuch toh sharam Karr”, (Have some shame, at least, I’m your mother ) one is pompously showing off the kid to strangers-“Beta auntie ko namaste bolo, .chalo ”baa baa black sheep ” sunaao,” if we think we have produced a unique specimen, we are right. Of course, we have!.
I loved the mother who told me “My kids call it yelling when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener “ I am sure we all agree, with Jessica Lange, when she said..’The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.”
Yet, I am tempted to remind myself that”Yeh hadise Nabi haqikat hai , maa ke kadmon ke neeche jannat hai”
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