Can You Apologise and Forgive ?

Please, thank you and sorry;

Magical magical sounds.

Making people from piggies,

Humans from horses and hounds…”

This was a rhyme that the nuns drilled into us in the wonder years. Even though it is laughingly said that an apology is a great way to have the last word ,the fact remains,that an apology is like a super glue.It can repair just about anything.The only niggling problem is the massive, albatross like ego that we carry with us ,a la the Ancient Mariner.How much easier would it be if we stooped to conquer. That squirming ,agitated battle within-to say sorry or not to say sorry .How much of a dilemma can it possibly be ? Crazy though it seems,words invariably get stuck in our rigamarole of finding excuses to justify and to worm out of responsibility for the deed that is already done.

Merely mouthing insincere, sugar coated  words , might just boomerang.The shame-faced mask,needs to be one of real atonement .The regret and remorse have to be palpable.

Making amends, is the most important part of an apology.

No redressal or mitigation is possible without a genuine attempt. I must pause in my tirade with due apologies , for I just remembered ,Steve Martin’s funny,rebellious words –

“An apology? bah! disgusting! cowardly!beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be .”

Forgive Me Forgiveness

When hurting becomes the new normal

And hiding much more than life saving

I gather up the wrongs I did to others knowingly and unknowingly

Weighing them against those that needled me

I am ashamed to admit that forgiveness

Is something I thought I was capable of

Fooling myself with grotesque grinning masks

I carry the weight of those I forgave

In coffins that I stacked them in

They still live in me willy nilly

In my shrill raised voice one day

In my uncontrollable sobs the next

In my over bright nail paint

Or the repentant martyr pose

In the boisterous laughter bubbly

Or in the khairaat that I vainly dole out

I lack the capacity to forgive myself

For letting life ride on me rough shod

How easily ,one could say,…”chehre pe giri zulfein, keh do toh hata doon main, gustaakhi maaf …”

Or sing a ditty saying ”maaf karo sarkaar”.

Simply saying ”hathh juda lao mata ji , roti kha lo mata  ji ”also works wonders.A tear-filled, pouty lipped damsel, can move mountains. Human hearts are mere putty in the hands of the limpid pools beneath the  ”bheegi palkein”.

“Woh kaun hain jinhein tauba ki mil gayi fursat ?

Hamain gunah bhi karne ko zindagi kam hai”