Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech.
~ Susan Sontag.
We live busy lives in a noisy world. Our relationship with silence is as shifty as a shoplifter’s gaze. Just as air rushes to fill low pressure pockets, we rush to fill the silences we meet with daily. Playing music while driving; calling friends over when we’re alone at home; or just turning on the television while waiting for our partners to get home.
THE EVASION OF REFLECTION
We’re essentially escaping the reflective voice within us, choking it with binge watching and empty conversations. In reality, we’re evading contemplation. Why?
Because reflection might bring with it pain and anguish.
But we overlook the short-sightedness of this continuous evasion. The harder you evade something, the more it starts to feel like it’s chasing you. And after a period of this continuous running away from silence, even a single moment of it can feel like an attack on the senses.
And here comes the twist in the tale: we cannot be content or successful as humans if, every once in a while, we don’t stop to reflect upon our lives.
THE IMPORTANCE OF CONFRONTATION
The only way out is to learn to be unfazed by the silence of time spent alone. When we accept the silence of solitude, we can begin to make effective use of it. In silence, we stand faced with the most important relationship in our life — the one with ourselves.
In solitude, the mind begins to wanders into times and places we’re not ready to see. Past mistakes, moment of guilt, or anxieties of the future. Of course, we want to run away. But is there truly an escape?
Dealing with these the fears that spring up during periods of silent reflection is the only way to redemption.
Know this — a big part of learning to be comfortable alone is to accept and get comfortable with silence.
HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE
1. MORNING PAGES: Celebrated author Julia Cameron suggests a fine way to embrace the inner silence by doing an exercise known as ‘Morning Pages’. She asks us to write down, each morning, three pages about everything going in our minds.
This is powerful because it’s doable. All you need is put pen to paper.
2. WALKING WITHOUT STIMULI: Another great method is going for long walks without phones. Walk into your city or a park but without any external fallback. Force your senses to open up and practice embracing wayward thoughts. It’s also, paradoxically, an effective way to step out of your mind. Listen to the birds. Watch the traffic.
WHY DO THIS AT ALL?
The aim is to deliberately put yourself in a situation where you are alone with your thoughts and there is nothing to soothe that initial uneasiness. It’s challenging to brace your pen over a blank sheet. Or step out without your phone.
Persevere and you will find the channel that leads back to yourself.
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