As a part of my daily routine, I make it a point to call my mother every morning as soon as I hit the road to my college. During the twenty odd minutes, my mother is the major stakeholder when it comes to conversation. My contribution includes the occasional monosyllables in the form of ‘Ok…’, ‘Hmmm…’ and ‘Achha…’ As a matter of fact, I have always been embarrassed by my lack of small talk skills for I believe in ‘conversations’ rather than small talk. On the other hand, I do admire people who can indulge in small talk. I appreciate not only their enthusiasm but also the alacrity of their mind that can keep the awkward silences at bay. Small talk is an art and it can certainly be acquired as compared to the skills that are inherited.
To begin with, the art of small talk involves honing your grey cells. Remember, moms used to insist on having water-soaked almonds every morning! The first step is to remember the names of the spouse and if possible of the children of the person you are seeing or talking to. A personal touch goes a long way! If you are the proud possessor of an incredibly sharp and elephantine memory like my mother, you will be able to recall the birthdays of your siblings and colleagues; their off-springs and even their grandchildren. And you are sure to earn enough brownie points!
The British, it is believed, can talk incessantly about weather and its unpredictability. Study shows that an average British person spends the equivalent of four and a half months of their life talking about weather. Samuel Johnson takes a dig at this idiosyncrasy of the English gentlemen,
“It is commonly observed, that when two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather; they are in haste to tell each other, what each must already know, that it is hot or cold, bright or cloudy, windy or calm.“
Socio-linguistic theoretical framework is of the opinion that small talk is not gender related. However, a palpable difference can be seen between the variety of topics taken up by men and women. While men prefer to talk about politics, sports and workplace, women more often than not find it convenient to talk about domestic affairs which includes kids, maids, household chores, shopping and relatives. Pets is another favorite theme of discussion, and if the host has one then you would probably find it hard to distinguish whether the antics, the eating and sleeping patterns being talked about are displayed by the host’s child or the beast.
Nigerian author Chinua Achebe, in his novel Things Fall Apart, lays considerable stress on the use of circumlocutory speech by the Igbo community. A person who talks business straight away is not only considered rude but his prowess to communicate also comes under a scanner.
“Among the Ibo the art of conversation is regarded very highly, and proverbs are the palm-oil with which words are eaten.”
With the world turning into a global village, the geographical and physical boundaries are toppling everyday like a line of dominoes and yet it is getting harder for people living under one roof to communicate on a one-to-one basis. Small talk, therefore, bridges the gap and acts as a form of polite conversation. It helps avoid communication breakdown between individuals in general and society as a whole. Therefore, if you are not already adept at small talk, it’s never too late to learn. So, how’s the weather today!!!
Trending Now
