“Time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go.”
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
Ever since we were kids, we were told ‘time is a great healer’ and that it heals the deepest of wounds. However, in the process of growing up we do realize the fact that even time is incapable of healing certain things. These things one must learn to let go…
Ye kya hua, kaise hua, kyun hua…chhodo ye na socho
One slowly learns to let go off people and things but the biggest hurdle is created by ‘Emotions’ that refuse to leave despite our best efforts. It takes the best of people, Herculean efforts to learn to let go. Ancient Indian philosophy has been, since ages, trying to teach us to free ourselves of ‘attachment’ of any form– physical as well as emotional.
Yoga teaches us ‘yama’ and ‘niyama’ or the ‘moral conduct’ for right living. While niyamas guide you ‘what to do’ for a healthy lifestyle, yamas guide you as to ‘what not to do’. These are the restraints one must follow in order to lead a soulful existence. Of the five yama laid out in Patanjali’s eightfold path– ahimsa, staya, asteya, brahmacharya and aparigraha– it is the last principle that guides you to let go of attachment to people, things, emotions and even outcome of your deeds. “The root of suffering is attachment,” said Budhha. And yet, it is easier said than done!
Saints and holy men who advise you to give up attachment, also preach the gospel of ‘detachment’. Yet, detachment has different meaning for all of us. Some say that detachment is to loosen your grip on the world (Sadguru) while others believe that it is an art of enjoying something while always being open to the possibility of losing it someday (John B. Bejo). The most amusing definition of detachment that I came across is something that liberates you and teaches you how to let go…
True detachment isn’t a separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living. (Mindful Quotes)
Remember, the pain you feel right now is because you are being stubborn about trying to hold on to the things that would either leave you sooner or later or you would leave them on your own one fine day. Those who learn to let go, not only explore life but also endless possibilities that they might not explore by tying themselves down.
Love, hatred, jealousy, anger, anxiety, fear, desire, craving and many such like emotions hold us captive throughout our limited stay on our earth-bound home. These are also the cause of our happiness and sadness. One moment we feel ecstatic because someone or something favoured us and the other moment we feel despondent because things did not go in our favour. This state of mind has been beautifully presented by John Donne in the sonnet, ‘Sweetest Love, I do not go’,
O how feeble is man’s power,
That if good fortune fall,
Cannot add another hour,
Nor a lost hour recall!
But come bad chance,
And we join to’it our strength,
And we teach it art and length,
Itself o’er us to’advance.
It is our mindset that makes us despair over our ill-fortune and it is this mindset we must learn to amend, learn to let go…
Sochna kya jo bhi hoga dekha jayega
Kal ke liye, aaj ko na khona, aaj ye na kal aayega…
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