SILENCE OVER WORDS: OPTIONAL OR FORCED?
Forced Silence is a dangerous imposter. (Jo Ann Fore)
Silence, like appearances, can be very deceptive. Often we choose to remain silent in situations that can turn acerbic or in circumstances where words can end up hurting, one or many. However, certain silences rather than being voluntary can be forced or due to lack of option or right company. It is said that, quiet people are actually talkative around the right people.
At a recent wedding, a young man in his twenties could be seen sitting all alone with his earphones plugged in, while his parents went about socializing and enjoying the festivities. For two days, I found him sitting at the poolside, lost in his own thoughts with earphones intact. On the third morning, I was sitting alone at the breakfast table sipping my tea when I heard a meek voice. “May I sit here?”
The boy had a pleading expression on his face as he spoke again, “All other chairs are occupied. Can I please sit here for a while?”
“Sure, my dear,” I said.
He took the chair opposite to mine and was ready to put on his earphones.
“This is the first time I’ve heard you speak in the last two days” I tried to initiate a dialogue.
What followed next could be compared to the opening of sluice gates and the gushing flow of water out of them. I was reminded of a beautiful quote by Susan Gale which I had read a long time ago,
Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say… They’re just being careful about who they open up to.
The boy spoke as if he was waiting to be heard. He told me everything, right from the degree he was pursuing, to the internship he did a few months ago with a Japanese firm, to all the things he wanted to do, and all the hobbies he wished to pursue.
At one point of time, I had to excuse myself for, I had to get ready for the wedding ceremony. He seemed reluctant to let his audience depart when he had just begun. I, too, was sorry for him but promised to catch up later. Though, we could not sit down for another round of discussion throughout the wedding, I did make sure to pass a smile of acknowledgement to him, now and then. He, too, made sure to drop a few compliments my way whenever we crossed paths.
The episode led me to the conclusion that there are, in this world, two categories of silent people– One, like me, who prefer silence over words and solitude over company; the second, like the boy I met, who perhaps had no intention to be silent but the want of right company forced him into reticence. Such people have a lot to say and given the right ambience and opportunity can outshine the smartest. So, the next time you see someone lurking in a corner in the middle of some boisterous social gathering, do not assume him to be a loner; he might be looking for the right moment and the right person to interact. Lend him your ears! Remember,
Rutba to khamoshiyon ka hota hai, alfaaz ka kya hai?
Wo to…badal jaate hain, aksar, haalat dekh kar