WATCH OUT FOR THE SMART HEADS IN THE EXAMINATION HALL

It is said that human brain works perfectly well till the time one enters the examination hall. Recently, we had a spate of bureaucrats displaying their average and the below average mark sheets on the social media in order to motivate youngsters that marks do not matter. We have numerous examples of school, college and university drop-outs who not only made a mark in life for themselves but also became the bread and butter providers to the university toppers across the globe.

Let me introduce you to these gems whose brains start working overtime once they are inside the examination hall. It seems as if they are blessed by some divine intelligence as soon as they are seated on the ‘hot seat’ and the question paper is handed out to them. As teachers, we come across the answer sheets of such ingenious students whose answers might seem ludicrous to us as examinees but often leave us awestruck at their out-of-the-box thinking and creative responses. Although repetitive, I can’t help but marvel at the cleverness of the boy who was asked to write an essay on ‘My Father’. The boy, who remembered only ‘My Friend’ by heart, skillfully replaced the word ‘friend’ with ‘father’ and wrote, “I have many fathers but Ram Lal is my best father…” and the rest, as they say, is history.

Such anecdotes are often shared by us, teachers, over a cup of tea when we sit in the department during our free lectures. One such creative response was shared by a worthy colleague. The students were supposed to write a paragraph on ‘The Modern Girl’…Wonder who thought of such a topic! However, the student writing the paragraph must have been either from a rural background or from a small city, for all he wrote was…’Modern Girl puts make up. Modern girl wears short clothes. Modern girl talks rudely. Modern girl goes to Chandigarh. I do not like the modern girl.’ With due apologies to the people of Chandigarh on behalf of the innocent scribe, I still wonder what’s wrong with voicing an opinion!

The other day, a young colleague shared this bit of information– the students were asked to write one word substitutes for some phrases for their end-semester English exam. One of the phrases read– one who eats human flesh. Not a big deal, for most of the students happily obliged by writing ‘Cannibal’ against the question. However, one of the inspired minds could not recall the word and instead substituted it with its Hindi version– Narbhakshi! Does that not sound right though?

The university, generally, provides a 36-page answer sheet to every student. While going through the voluminous answer sheets, you realize that gone are the times of leaving behind a blank answer sheet. Instead, the creative ones are equally the industrious ones, who do not believe in leaving even a single question un-attempted. They avail the stipulated three hours in either copying the question paper multiple times in the form of answers or writing the plot of a movie they last watched or writing a script of their own. While some, like a crafty animal, display the most unique skill of camouflage– they write answers in English but on a close reading of the text, you realize it has Hindi words written in English script. Sample this–

Then the Pandavas andar gaye in the gufa. There a naav was waiting unke liye. They naav mein baith gaye and wahan se chale gaye…

Whoever said there is a dearth of talent in the country must check the nifty responses of these smart heads to dispel any doubts of their own!