Science proposes that “opposites attract” based on the electromagnetic theory. Every magnet has two poles- the north pole and the south pole. When the opposite poles of two magnets are brought together, they attract, whereas similar poles repel. Based on the above theory Robert Francis Winch, American sociologist, posited that a similar rule exists in human relations too– opposites attract. Having studied a number of spouses, Winch declared that similarities between spouses don’t help maintain a relationship and people with opposite qualities are better suited to each other. The theory suggested that we look for in our partners what we find lacking in ourselves. This was termed as “the law of attraction” among humans.
In the mid-1900s, social scientists and relationship experts came up with the theory of “similar attract” based on the adage ‘birds of a feather flock together.” They believed that “opposites attract but like-minded last” and that as far as relationships are concerned, the idea of “opposites attract” is a myth.
We are past two decades into the twenty first century and yet we find ourselves at crossroads when it comes to ‘what clicks’ in a relationship and what not? No fixed theory, unlike the scientific law, governs human beings when it comes to relationships.
“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of”, wrote Blaise Pascal.
And perhaps what Pascal said, is poignantly described by Rajesh Khanna in the magnum opus, Anand. Khanna, who plays the titular role in the movie is a young man suffering from terminal cancer. He beautifully philosophizes about ‘what clicks’ and results in friendship through this profound dialogue penned by none other than Gulzar;
“Dekho babumoshai, har ek body ek transmitter hai aur ek receiver. Bas uski body main se ek vibration nikli aur maine pakad li, bas dosti ho gayi”.
Maybe that is what actually works for human beings!
One often hears others saying, “our frequency matches” or “we are always on the same page”. None of these entail that the two people involved have to be of similar or opposite traits. It’s a matter of ‘complementing’ or ‘completing’ each other and ‘supplementing’ wherever necessary.
An internet couplet comes in handy in explaining the hypothesis,
Hum dono ek hi kitaab mein rahenge
Tum ghulab ke jaise, main khushboo ki tarah…
It is said that most species on the planet follow a set pattern– the spiders exhibit an innate behavior in web building, birds indulge in nest building, cocoon spinning in insects such as moths, swimming in aquatic animals, tree-hopping in marsupials and many more. This kind of behavior is called ‘fixed action pattern’.
While anthropologists have been able to identify some areas of human behavior that exhibit ‘fixed action pattern’, it is the human heart that betrays any such fixity of action or pattern and it is the human heart that connects with other beings on the emotional front. Therefore, it is in vain that we try to decipher what clicks between two individuals, similarity or dissimilarity. What is important is– the need to click.
It doesn’t matter whether you create ‘magic’ or ‘madness’, till the time you click together and stick together.
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